Rolling in the Deep
by Riv3rBoy84
Summary: He had it all at the palm of his hand... until she came along. Now he had a choice to make, and he could end up hurting the people that mean the most to him. DRABBLE. OOC. AH.
1. Preface

**Title:** Rolling in the Deep

**Penname:** Riv3rboy84

**Main Character:** Edward

**Category:** Romance/Angst

**Summary:** He had it all at the palm of his hand, until she came along. Now he had a choice to make, and he could end up hurting the people that meant the most to him. DRABBLE. OOC. AH.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. They are the property of Stephanie Meyer. I'm only using them for entertainment purposes.

**Cover made by Mina Rivera. Link is on my profile.**

* * *

**For my mother and sister, warriors that carry their scars with pride and grace.  
This story is a gift to them. They're the culprits who initiated me into fanfiction.**

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The scars of your love remind me of us. They keep me thinking that we almost had it all.  
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless. I can't help feeling,

We could have had it all, rolling in the deep.  
You had my heart inside your hand, and you played it to the beat.

_~"Rolling in the Deep," Adele._

* * *

_**- Rolling in the Deep -**_

_**Preface**_

_How did we get here?_

I lay awake in my bed, watching the sun rise through my window, as that question ran around in circles in my head.

_How did we get here?_

It was all so simple at first. Boy met girl, time passed, boy asked girl out, time passed again, boy fell in love with girl and he proposed, time passed yet again, boy and girl lived happily ever after.

Simple. Perfect.

So where did we go wrong?

_How did we get here?_

How was it that between meeting you and asking you to be my wife, you went and married someone else? Was it my fault? Should I have asked you to be mine that same day I met you? Should I have begged you to leave him after I saw you in his arms?

When did everything turn so complicated?

How can I ever forgive myself for loving you? For wanting to take you away from _him_?

How can I steal you from the man that gave me everything without asking anything in return?

_How did we get here?_

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you to anyone who will join me on this ride. English is not my first language, and I'm new to this thing called fanfiction, so I beg for your understanding and patience.

No schedule for updates. Some chapters will be longer than this, others probably shorter. I write when I have time. With two sons, a day job, and night classes, it can be a little tricky.

Thanks to **MariahajilE** for offering to beta this story. I truly appreciate your help.

Thank you for reading.

-JR


	2. Chapter 1

**1. **

It all started one cold January morning.

I was about to go to work, when I decided to first pick up coffee for me and my assistant. He deserved it after sacrificing his weekend working on the new account we had acquired.

While I was checking my email on my phone, waiting for the design team to send the mockup for the campaign, I bumped against you.

"Unf!"

I grabbed your elbow before you were propelled forward. You dropped your purse, but luckily, nothing spilled out from it.

"I'm so sorry," I said to you.

Then, you looked up.

One look was all it took.

I was yours, right there and then.

Your warm eyes captured me, and after you allowed me to buy you a coffee, we sat down to talk. Soon, I forgot all about meetings, new accounts, mockups, and everything else. I was only focused on the shape of your lips as you talked, the way your eyes lit up when you told me about the things that made you who you were, the sweet scent of your hair that I greedily took in every time you tossed your hair back.

You were flirting with me, and I'd flirted right back.

I had never met a woman like you before; so natural, open, and beautiful.

I was intoxicated by you.

Eventually, reality called, and I had to leave. I was already one hour late for work, but I didn't want to walk away from you. I still wanted to know more about you, get lost in you, but I had responsibilities.

Looking back, I should have asked you for your number. I should have asked you out, but being the romantic guy I was, I simply settled for the hope that I'd see you again.

You promised to come back, that next time it'd be your turn to pay for coffee.

I had smiled and agreed, but secretly, I was already planning on paying.

I was a gentleman, after all.

I was hesitant to leave, but after my phone rang yet again for what felt like the tenth time in just as many minutes, I knew I had no choice. With one last longing look at you and a pathetic wave, I stood up and walked out of that coffee shop.

Who knew that it would be months before I saw you again?

* * *

Thanks to **MariahajilE** for offering to beta this story. I truly appreciate your help.

You can now find me on twitter: **Riv3rBoy84**

Thank you for reading.

-JR


	3. Chapter 2

**2.**

I felt like I was in limbo. I waited for you. Every day, I went to that same coffee shop. I was late to work for an entire week, but you never showed up.

Winter turned into spring, and I dreaded leaving the city, but I had already promised my uncle to visit him. It was spring break, and he wanted the entire family present for this particular week. He had sent me and my cousins an email, telling us our presence was demanded and he had news to share.

So, with a heavy heart and lost hope, I took the plane to the place I used to call home, leaving the city of lights for the one of winds.

"Edward!" I heard a voice called out for me as soon as I stepped out of the airport.

I picked up my pace when I recognize the person that had yelled my name, and soon, I was engulfed in her motherly arms.

"Oh, my boy, you're finally home."

"Good to see you, Mae. How is everyone?" I walked arm-in-arm with the woman that had been like another mother to me.

As my uncle's driver took us home, she told me all about my uncle's new practice, how it was booming and how my cousins were so happy to have more time with their dad now that he wasn't subjected to the hospital's schedule.

"Have you told him about your feelings yet, Mae?"

It was no secret that she had feeling for my uncle, but for some reason he never saw her more that the beloved nana and housekeeper my cousins and I grew up with.

It was as shame. Esme was lovely woman.

Beautiful, charming and caring… Had I been a few years older, I would have asked her out. My cousins had tried several times to bring my uncle and Esme together, but nothing worked.

What a waste.

She blushed and rolled her eyes, swatting me as we walked into the mansion that was my home growing up. She didn't say anything, but I could see the sadness in her eyes.

To have someone so close to your reach but not been able to take them, to make them yours… It was like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands.

It was disheartening.

I understood her completely now.

And it was all because of you.

* * *

Thanks to **MariahajilE** for offering to beta this story. I truly appreciate your help.

You can now find me on twitter: **Riv3rBoy84**

Thank you for reading.

-JR


	4. Chapter 3

**Many of you have assumed that Bella is the one Edward is talking to in his thoughts and that's... interesting.**

**It's interesting that the majority of you assume that it's Bella, but is she really? **

**I haven't mentioned the color of her hair or eyes, not even her name, yet you all think it's her. **

**Also, please notice that there is only one character listed, so where does it come from? **

**My advice to you is to please keep an open mind, and read _carefully_. ****Bella is IN the story, there is no doubt about that, and t**here will be clues on who she is, but you haven't met all the characters yet, so save your pick until the end, which is when you will find out.

**I'm aware I'll probably lose readers because of this, but I don't mind. The only two people I really care what they think are 100% behind me on this, and they don't even know too. In fact, NO ONE knows who Bella is but me. I haven't even written the last chapter yet.**

**That's all, and to all of you that remain, enjoy.**

* * *

**3.**

The mansion felt empty, but soon it would be filled with loud conversations and laughter once the family arrived. Mae informed me my uncle would be home later that day, just in time for dinner. He had just come back from a month-long trip to Europe, so he had work to catch up on.

I wondered if you had gone to Europe the past months. You mentioned you wanted to go to Italy but never really had the opportunity. I had told you I would take you in jest, but inside, I meant every word. But for that to happen, I had to find you first. Maybe I could go back to that coffee shop, ask around, leave a note with the cashier, do something to bring me a step closer to know where you were.

Mae brought me out of my thoughts by asking me to help her with dinner.

Not wanting to miss on sampling her delicious food, I eagerly followed her to the kitchen.

The walls of the mansion were covered in art work and family photos; some new, some old. I spotted a big collage of black and white photos covering a entire wall of the dining room, and I knew immediately who had taken the photos.

"I see Jay has been busy," I commented, fingering the frame of one particular photo that had been taken years ago during a trip to Hawaii.

Mae smiled proudly. "He's so talented, isn't he?"

I nodded, agreeing and remembering when my cousin received his first camera. It was an old thing, one of those that needed a new light bulb every time the flash was used, but he loved it. At the age of 23, he now had a collection of old cameras of all sizes and shapes. He would always try to use them at least once every now and then.

"He'll be here tonight. I should call him. Sometimes he gets lost in his work and tends to spend hours inside that dark room, just like someone I know with their laptop." She gave me a pointed look.

I grinned back and shrugged. "I guess it's in the family."

She laughed, agreeing, knowing we were all cut from the same cloth.

A photo caught my eye; this one was older and clearly not taken by Jay. A woman in her late twenties stood with two toddlers, her small bump showing the beginning of a new life growing inside of her.

It was my aunt Katherine.

I remembered very little about my mother's step-sister, but she had been a lovely and caring woman. It hit the family hard when we found out she had been killed in a car accident, the culprit being a drunk driver who sped down the street like a maniac.

Thanks to my uncle's attorneys, that man was now in jail.

I came to live with my aunt and uncle when I was only six years old after my mother had passed away. She had lost the battle against cancer, and since I never knew who my father was, I was welcomed into the Cullens' home. My aunt and uncle raised me like I was their son, and my cousins were like my siblings, even though we didn't share any blood relation.

We were a family, and I was happy to have come back to Chicago for at least this week. I had missed them all very much, almost as much as I had missed you.

* * *

Thanks to my beta **MariahajilE**. I truly appreciate your help.

You can now find me on twitter: **Riv3rBoy84**

Thank you for reading.

-JR


	5. Chapter 4

**4.**

"Edward, you're heeeeeeere!"

Both Esme and I heard the squeal at the same time, and I turned around just in time to catch my youngest cousin, who almost tackled me to the ground.

Jesus Christ, when did he get so big?

"Hey there, monkey man! What's up buddy?" I ruffled his hair, noticing he now reached my chest, when before he barely reached my waist.

He pulled back from the hug, a wide smile showing off his dimples. "You're finally here! Promise me you will let me ride your bike with you this time, please?"

"Emmett!" Esme scolded him.

I laughed and shook my head, not offended at all by him.

My youngest cousin was the most cheerful kid I'd ever met. He was the tallest among the other third graders. Yet, his joy for life and the ever present dimples gave him certain innocence that made us all very protective of him. He was always surprising me, looking for the bright side of things. He had been just a baby when Aunt Kate died, but he had never felt like he needed another mother. He received that kind of love from Mae and his older sister.

In a way, we had all taken to ourselves to make sure his little heart never lost its innocence and joy, but sometimes, it was necessary to let him down.

I had bought my Ducati two years ago, and Emmett had wanted to ride with me ever since seeing it for the first time, something my uncle had forbidden.

"_I already suffer a mild stroke every time you get on that thing, I don't need to add a heart attack to it."_

That was what he said to me the last time my youngest cousin asked to ride with me, so I doubted he would've given his permission again. I wasn't even sure the bike would have still been there, thinking that perhaps my uncle had disposed of it after I left.

As if she was reading my mind, Mae let me know the bike was still in the garage.

I sighed and scratched the back of my head. I hated to disappoint my little cousin. It broke my heart when his smile vanished because of something I had done, but I couldn't make promises I couldn't keep.

"Tell you what, buddy," I told him, kneeling so we were at eye level. "If you promise to be super good this week, I'll try really hard to make your dad agree to small ride around the driveway. Deal?"

"DEAL!"

We shook on it, spitting on our palms first, because a deal wasn't a deal without spit involved, after all.

* * *

Thanks to my beta **MariahajilE**. I truly appreciate your help.

You can now find me on twitter: **Riv3rBoy84  
**I sometimes post tiny teaser over there.

Thank you for reading.

-JR


	6. Chapter 5

**5.**

I wondered why the only girl in the family hadn't arrived yet. She was usually the first one to receive me at the door with a bright smile and her arms open.

"Where's my little bird?" I asked Esme after Emmett scurried away to play.

"She's spending spring break with a friend. They went to Aruba with her family. She'll be here around the end of the week."

I nodded, frowning as I washed my hands. "That's too bad. I was looking forward to seeing the new college girl. I gotta head back to New York by Friday."

When she had been accepted into Julliard, we were all so very proud of her, but we knew that it would mean that we wouldn't be able to see her often. She was a piano prodigy, had learned to play at the age of four, and since then, had wowed us with her talent. I played the instrument, too, but preferred my guitar. The piano was all hers. The white Steinway in the solarium was just for her, and not even I dared to play it.

I wondered if you played any instruments and even dared to imagine playing for you, along with other things that I could do for you and to you with a piano involved. I was quick to shake those images out of my brain, not wanting to get lost in one of the many fantasies I'd had of you in the last couple of months, especially not in the presence of Esme.

That would be embarrassing.

Esme pulled out what looked like lasagna from the oven and I inhaled deeply, enjoying the smell.

"Well, I'm sure your _little bird_ will tell you all about her trip when she calls you, if she's not here before you leave," she commented, pulling out plates and motioning for me to help her set the table.

I grabbed the plates, following her to the dining room. "That's if she hasn't already emailed me. That girl can write!"

We both laughed, knowing full well about my little bird's quirk of writing long emails. She was so detailed that it made it so easy to picture what her day was like, but they were so long. Sometimes it took me hours to finish reading one, which is why I mostly read her emails at the end of the day.

Just then, we heard a car pull up, and King, Emmett's English bulldog, started barking like a maniac.

"That must be your uncle."

* * *

Thanks to my beta **MariahajilE**. I truly appreciate your help.

You can find me on twitter: **Riv3rBoy84  
**I post tiny teasers over there.

Thank you for reading.

-JR


	7. Chapter 6

**6.**

Strong arms wrapped around my shoulders. "Good to see you, son," my uncle greeted me. We pulled back, his hands on my shoulders. "New York has done you good. You look great."

"Thanks, Uncle Carlisle. I've been good," I told him, not really lying.

After all, no one knew about you, at least not yet. Esme had caught me looking pensive every now and then but hadn't pushed me to talk about it. But I knew she'd soon ask if I was still carrying this melancholy around by the end of the week.

My uncle looked different somehow. It wasn't the light tan he probably got during his trip, nor the relaxed clothes he was wearing, even though I had honestly never seen him in something more relaxed than a sweater and linen pants. Yet, here he was in jeans and a pullover.

Weird.

"There is something I need to tell you," he confessed to me later that evening in his study.

Dinner had been a lively affair; Emmett did most of the talking, and Jay never showed up. He was working on a deadline and couldn't come. Mae understood, but my uncle was adamant he show up the next no matter what.

I had been watching my uncle closely all night long, so his confession was somewhat expected.

"Oh, what is it?" I asked cautiously, not knowing how to approach the conversation.

He poured a tumbler of scotch for himself, and I declined when he offered me one.

"Yeah," he chuckled nervously and then took a healthy gulp of the amber liquid. "I, um, well, did something crazy back in Europe."

I raised an eyebrow and tried to think of the possibilities. My uncle was in his late forties, yet he looked younger than what he really was, but he wasn't one to do "something crazy."

What could possibly make him so uncomfortable to tell me?

And then it hit me.

"You got a tattoo!" I gasped and then barked out a laugh, thinking how hilarious it was that my straight-laced uncle could get one after he bitched at me for the one on my back. Granted, it was an ambitious first piece. It pretty much covered the upper half of my back, but I had wanted it for a long time and didn't think twice when I went to the tattoo parlor on my 21st birthday.

"No! God, no… Never! You know I don't like those things, and I'm too old for that stuff."

"Oh, man," I groaned, completely disappointed. "Here I thought on granting you some cool points, _old man,_" I teased him.

He glared at me, and I smirked.

"What is it then?" I finally asked him, leaving jokes aside.

"I…. sort of…"

I sat down on the leather sofa and brought a hand behind my ear.

"What was that? Don't make _me_ feel old, because I can't hear you, uncle. Come on. Spit it out."

"I got married."

I froze.

And then, all hell broke loose.

* * *

Thanks to my beta **MariahajilE**. I truly appreciate your help.

You can find me on twitter: **Riv3rBoy84  
**I post tiny teasers over there.

Thank you for reading.

-JR


	8. Chapter 7

**7.**

"You did what?!" I yelled, standing up and glaring at my uncle, not recognizing him in this moment.

"Please keep your voice down!" he hissed at me.

I balled up my hands into fists and closed my eyes. The urge to punch him was escalating quickly, and I knew I needed a minute to think.

How could he possibly do that? Of all the reckless things, he chose to do _that_?

I opened my eyes, and the first thing I did was check his left hand, but I didn't see a ring.

"Please tell me you are joking, Uncle Carlisle…"

My uncle sighed and shook his head. "No, Edward. I'm not joking. I got married to a beautiful woman in a small church in Rome."

I rubbed my face, trying to calm down. "It can't be legal," I said, trying to grasp at straws. "You need documents… a freaking license, right?"

He cleared his throat and nodded. "Yeah, I got everything taken care of at the consulate before actually going to the church."

"Is she Italian? Because if she is, she probably just married you for the visa."

My uncle slammed his glass down on the bar and glared at me. "She's American, Edward."

"Did you get her to sign a prenup, at least? Please tell me you did…"

"No, I didn't," he said through gritted teeth.

I cursed under my breath. "Carlisle, what the hell were you thinking?"

"That I found the one! I'm in love with her, Edward."

I snorted, the sound bitter and disbelieving. "You mean you fell in lust. Let me guess… she is younger than you."

My uncle was silent, but he looked down and then nodded, avoiding my eyes.

"Unbelievable," I scoffed. "You do realize the danger you have put us all in? My cousins, _your children_ in?"

"Danger? There is no danger, Edward."

"She could divorce you right now and leave with half of what is yours! You help me finance my company! Granted, you're a silent partner, but you still own most of it. Not to mention you own the building where Jasper's studio is. And what about your youngest children? Emmett is just a child, but Birdy is in college. You pay her tuition!"

His mouth dropped open. "She's not like that. She wouldn't do that, Edward." he defended weakly after a minute. "I trust her," he added firmly.

"How do you know? Did you even bother to find out about her and her family before you went and married her?"

"What?" I heard someone gasp behind me.

I shut my eyes and felt a sharp pain in my heart, because I recognized the broken voice behind me.

She was the last person I wished for to find out like this.

* * *

Sorry for the long wait, folks. I took a couple of personal days to be there for a friend who just lost his father. He is better now, but it's gonna be hard for a while. I'll try to update this weekend again, I promise.

Thanks to my beta **MariahajilE**. I truly appreciate your help.

You can find me on twitter: **Riv3rBoy84  
**I post tiny teasers over there.

Thank you for reading.

-JR


	9. Chapter 8

**8.**

"You got married?" I heard her broken voice ask.

I opened my eyes and looked behind me.

There stood Esme, a tray with two slices of pie and coffee cups. Her face showed her shock, but her eyes…

God, her eyes reflected a world of hurt.

And it fucking killed me that she was hurting because of my stupid uncle.

"Mae, please understand… It's not what it seems," pleaded my uncle, earning a sharp glare from me.

Luckily, he shut up. The last thing he needed to do right now was to placate Esme. Even if he didn't know about her feelings — which I couldn't understand how, since they were pretty obvious — Esme deserved better, and right now, the last thing she could possibly want to hear was about this broad my uncle decided to marry without telling anyone.

Esme blinked and shook her head. "No, of course not. You have nothing to explain to me, _Mister_ Carlisle. I'm just…" she didn't finish that thought and simply closed her eyes.

We both flinched when she said "Mister."

She hadn't called my uncle that in years.

"If you'll excuse me…"

She set the tray on the coffee table and exited the room as fast as she could.

My uncle groaned and sat heavily on the armchair closest to him.

I stood there, watching him and not knowing what to say to him.

"Where is she?" I finally asked.

My uncle looked up at me and let out a long breath. "She's in Newark. She lives there with her mother. She went to pick her up and sell their apartment. She will be here tomorrow."

I nodded once. "Is this why you asked all of us to be here?"

"Yes, but trust me Edward. It isn't what it seems."

I rubbed my face with both of my hands. "I'll leave my judgment until I meet her, but know that what you got tonight is probably what you'll get from everyone else tomorrow. Well, except for Emmett. He'll probably ask you for a little brother," I snorted.

My uncle smirked. "I wouldn't mind having another child."

I groaned and turned around, heading for the exit. "For your sake, do not mention that tomorrow night!" I yelled over my shoulder on my way out.

God, tonight had been quite the rollercoaster, and I couldn't wait till I could finally sleep it all away.

Little did I know, I was barely starting the ride.

* * *

I could't sleep, so I updated. The next two chapters are with my beta, I'll update the next one as soon as I can.

A wave to all of you who are following this story. I hope you are enjoying it.

Thanks to my beta **MariahajilE**. I truly appreciate your help.

You can find me on twitter: **Riv3rBoy84  
**I post tiny teasers over there.

Thank you for reading.

-JR


	10. Chapter 9

**9.**

I woke up the next morning with a pounding headache and feeling drained.

I'd tossed and turned most of the night, and I was so tense with worry, my shoulders and neck ached, as well.

I tried to sleep it off, but I was too wound up. Instead, I got out of bed and went down to the basement where the gym was. I spent an hour on the treadmill and then tapped my hands and put on some boxing gloves.

As I started practicing a few combos and hooks, I let my mind go blank. All tension disappeared and focused solidly on hitting the bag and moving my feet. All thoughts of what was going to happen today left my mind for the next minutes.

Whatever my uncle decided to do today, I knew he was going to need someone's support. I wasn't sure if I was the right person to do it. After all, I wasn't one hundred percent behind his decision to throw caution to the wind and suddenly marry a stranger, but I could give _her_ the benefit of the doubt.

But at the first sign that she wasn't what it seemed, I would bury her to the ground.

I spent another hour hitting the bag, and by the time I was done, I was exhausted but calm.

I quickly went back to my room to shower and get ready for tonight.

It was late afternoon when I finally made my way to the kitchen, and I could hear voices coming from there.

"You're very pretty," I heard Emmett say, and I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

"Like mother, like daughter," said my uncle, and I stopped right outside the kitchen.

They were here; Carlisle's new wife and mother-in-law.

I had been so focused on my workout, I hadn't heard anything, and since no one came looking for me, it meant they must've just arrived. I hesitated for a second before rolling my eyes at myself for being such a pussy. If I was gonna show my uncle he had my support — for now — then I had better get right to it.

_Well, nothing like the present…_

"I can't wait for you to meet my cousin. He's so cool, and he has this awesome bike!"

I chuckled, walking into the kitchen. "He's right. I'm very coo—"

I stopped short when I saw the woman standing next to my uncle.

Of all the possible scenarios, this was one I wasn't expecting at all.

I didn't expect to see him wrap his arm around that waist, his hands on that hip, his lips on that bare shoulder. I didn't expect those eyes, wide with shock staring back at me. And I certainly didn't expect that voice, calling out my name.

"Edward..."

I didn't expect you.

* * *

Thanks to my beta **MariahajilE**. I truly appreciate your help.

Special thanks to the reviewers! I never thought more than a handful of people would read this, so thank you.

You can find me on twitter: **Riv3rBoy84 **I post tiny teasers over there.

Thank you for reading.

-JR


	11. Chapter 10

**10.**

"Oh, you two know each other?"

I couldn't answer my uncle. Instead, all I could do was simply keep staring at you.

The woman that was standing in front of me was different from the one I'd met all those weeks ago in New York. Long gone were the ripped jeans, tank top, and sneakers. Instead, a designer dress and red sole shoes were in their place.

But it was your eyes, your hair, your voice — fuck, even your sweet scent that had me rooted to the spot, my teeth grinding and my fists tight with tension.

There you were, standing right next to my uncle, like you belonged there.

You looked so different, but at the same time, so beautifully the same.

"We met in New York once… a long time ago," you finally answered, your voice carrying a longing I wasn't sure if I had imagined or not.

I swallowed and rubbed the back of my neck. "Yeah, a long time ago."

You cleared your throat and turned to the woman next to you. "This is my adoptive mother, Sasha."

I look down to the woman in the wheelchair. She was very pretty, short wavy hair and sharp dark eyes.

"Adoptive mother?"

"I'm actually her aunt, but I adopted her when my sister and brother-in-law passed away."

I nodded in understanding. "Pleasure to meet you, ma'am." I shook her hand, noticing the dried skin and weak grip. "I hope you feel like home here."

My uncle grinned widely, and you gave me a thankful glance.

I put a smile on my face, while I was burning on the inside.

I was burning alive, because the one woman I had felt like chasing wasn't free to be chased.

She was married to the man that had given me everything.

Dinner was a pretty uneventful affair. Jay took the news pretty well, but later confided in me that he was gonna ask Jenks, our lawyer, to do a background check on you. I wasn't sure how to feel about it, so I simply stayed silent, not agreeing nor denying.

After all, how well did I really know you?

You keep sending me looks, and at one point, I thought I felt your feet bumping mine under the table. In that moment, the need to leave was pressing down on me, choking me. I knew I couldn't see you with him, because as much as I loved my uncle, I knew deep down I wanted you too much to stay away.

I was going to try, though. With every fiber of my being, I was gonna fucking try and beg whatever deity out there that was listening to help me get over you.

Unfortunately, it seemed like fate was in a mood to fuck me over.

* * *

Thanks to my beta **MariahajilE**. I truly appreciate your help.

Sorry for being MIA, my eldest son had an accident and broke his leg. He needed surgery, but luckily he is now back home and everything is getting back to normal. He's gonna have to wear a cast for 6 weeks, but he seems very excited to show off his red cast to everyone at school.

Special thanks to all the reviewers. I never thought more than a handful of people would read this, so thank you.

You can find me on twitter: **Riv3rBoy84 **I post tiny teasers over there.

Thank you for reading.

-JR


	12. Chapter 11

**11.**

"What do you mean you want me to move?"

I was in a meeting with my two partners, talking about expanding the business. We already had offices on both coasts, but we were thinking of branching out again.

"I think you are the perfect candidate, Edward," answered Garrett. "You are single, not to mention you have family over there."

I stopped breathing. "You want me to move to Chicago?"

"You're the obvious choice," added Marcus. "Di and I are getting ready to move to LA, and Garrett has family here. It would be easier to relocate you."

I ran a hand through my hair, pulling the back a little.

This couldn't be happening, not now.

It had been three months since I last saw my family, since I left you with him. My cousins were mad at me, especially my Birdy. I didn't get to see her before I ran away, but I promised to take her out when her summer break started.

Now, it looks like I'd be doing some travelling instead.

I couldn't blame Marcus and Garrett. There was really nobody else, and we were going to need another branch if we intended to keep up with the competition. We had a minor associate, Benjamin, but he was just fresh out of college and didn't have the experience to open up a branch all on his own. With him in mind, I suggested he made the move with me. He would come in the capacity of a PA, but he would be more hands-on with the business. I would have to hire another PA once I got to Chicago.

God, just thinking about the city made my stomach churn.

How the hell was I going to be able to cope with my uncle and you? Together? Playing house?

Even Birdy liked you, for fuck's sake, and she wasn't easy to win over.

She must've seen the same thing in you that I did.

The meeting was dismissed an hour later, and I went back to my office. I had calls and plans to make, not to mention I needed to find a place to live.

Now way in hell was I staying at my uncle's.

Not even for you.

* * *

Thanks to **MariahajilE** for her beta services. I truly appreciate your help.

Sorry for the long wait, folks. A new job with crazy hours and final exams had me running to exhaustion, but I'm back and I already sent the lovely MariahjilE the next chapter, and I'm finishing chapter 13 and 14 right now. Hopefully, I'll be able to update again this weekend!

You can find me on twitter: **Riv3rBoy84**

Thank you for reading.

-JR


	13. Chapter 12

**12.**

"They're not home."

Esme answered the door and my unasked question at the same time. I had tried yet again to sneak in like the coward I was, but I was caught on the way in from the garage. I had been doing this every night this past week, and I knew she was bound to notice eventually.

When my uncle found out about my moving back home, he practically demanded that I stay at the manor until I got my own place.

I tried to refuse, telling him it wasn't practical. The office space the firm had bought was near the University of Chicago campus, which was on the other side of the city from my uncle's home. But alas, I was unable to say no, not after Esme begged me to come and stay for a little while.

If I thought I knew what heartbreak was, it was nothing compared to what Esme was going through. It reflected in her face. She didn't smile like she used to, and there was no spark in her eyes.

At least _I_ was able to leave this place, but Esme had no choice. She was here every day, watching the man she loved being all lovey-dovey with a woman far younger than her.

Yeah, there was no way for me to deny Esme. She had been my rock years ago after Tanya, the first girl I ever wanted to share my life with, was taken from me due to a silent killer. Esme had been by my side when I had suffered along with my love through every failed treatment and finally when I buried the young woman I had loved more than life itself.

I owed it to her to be by her side now more than ever, especially since she knew about my feelings for you. I hadn't been able to hide it for long, not from her. Luckily, Esme had been so understanding, a little shocked, but open to hear me out. She was crushed that the first time I had opened up after Tanya had backfired so badly. She liked you even less now, but she was a lady through and through. I knew she wouldn't say a thing to my uncle out of respect to me.

* * *

Thanks to **MariahajilE** for her beta services. I truly appreciate your help.

I just finished reading Bold Gestures by SexyLexiCullen. Great story set in the 1950s. If you have time, read it and leave a review.

You can find me on twitter: **Riv3rBoy84**

Thank you for reading.

-JR


	14. Chapter 13

**13.**

"I'm tired, Mae. I just want to take a shower and crash," I said nonchalantly, trying not to make a big deal out of my sneaking in.

Esme shook her head at me. "You're too skinny," she said, poking my abs. "Let me fix something for you to eat, and then you can crash."

I sighed and rubbed my face, remembering that I hadn't been able to have lunch this afternoon. Setting up the new office had pretty much sucked all of my free time, and if it wasn't for Tia, my new PA, I would've probably starved. Though, I'm sure she bought all those lunches so she could have some time to talk to Benjamin.

I didn't miss the looks they kept giving each other.

Nevertheless, I was thankful, and today, I barely had time to breathe between meeting the contractor, the tech team, and the interior designer.

Now that I thought about it, I was fucking starving.

"All right. Lead the way, Mae."

She didn't say anything while she watched me eat dinner. The manor was dark and empty. I almost asked her where you and my uncle had gone, but I stopped myself. I didn't need to know.

"You are thinking of her."

My eyes snapped up, locking my gaze with Esme's.

"What?"

"I can tell by the look on your face; you get this sour expression, and you cast your eyes down."

"Shit," I murmured, dropping the fork and pushing the dish aside, my appetite already lost. "I hadn't realized it was so obvious."

"It isn't for someone who isn't looking."

I nodded. "I don't know what to do, Mae."

She picked up my plate, rubbing my shoulder in a comforting gesture. "I wish I knew what to tell you, Edward. I'm not really an expert. In fact, I'm the last person you should be asking about these things. Maybe you should try to go out with your old friends from high school. Didn't Alec call the other day?"

I nodded, remembering my old high school buddy, Alec. We had kept in touch through emails and social networks, so when he found out about my move, he called the manor asking for me. We had chatted for a while until he had to get back to work.

"I think you're right. I'll give him a call this weekend."

* * *

Thanks to my beta **MariahajilE**. I truly appreciate your help.

I'll try to update every Wednesday and Sunday, this will give me time to have more chapters pre-written.

You can find me on twitter: **Riv3rBoy84**

Thank you for reading.

-JR


	15. Chapter 14

**14.**

"Hot date?"

I froze for a second when I heard your voice, but then continued to put on my jacket and grabbed the bottle of cologne from the dresser.

"What if I had one?" I asked curtly, my back to you as I splashed some cologne on my neck and shirt.

I heard you sigh and then the click of the door shutting close.

I closed my eyes and rested my hands on the dresser, but I was startled when I felt your arms wrapping around me from behind.

I was quick to shake you off. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" I turned around and glared.

"I'm not doing anything."

I fisted my hands. "Bullshit," I spat between clenched teeth.

"I'm not one to play games, and you know it, Edward."

"Really?" I laughed sarcastically. "Then what do you call coming into my room and trying to feel me up, huh?"

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms over your chest. "I wasn't _feeling you up_, Edward. You looked sad, and I just wanted to—"

"Stop!" I said, clenching my eyes shut and pinching the bridge of my nose. "Just stop, Beautiful."

Your sharp gasp made me open my eyes.

"You haven't called me that in a long time," you said with tears in your eyes.

I cursed myself for slipping. I had made a point to call you by your name or even as Mrs. Cullen, because calling you Beautiful wasn't exactly proper from your new step-nephew.

You looked into my eyes and raised your hand to cup my cheek. "Edward, I—"

"Just don't!" I snapped, taking a step back. "Don't do this. Just…" I ran my hands through my hair and turned around. "Don't come into my room again," was all I said, grabbing my wallet and keys. "You made your choices. Now we both have to deal with them."

With one last glare in your direction, I turned around and left, my heart thumping unevenly and my eyes stinging on the way out.

* * *

Thanks to my beta **MariahajilE**. I truly appreciate your help.

You can now find me on twitter: **Riv3rBoy84  
**I post tiny teasers over there.

Thank you for reading.

-JR


	16. Chapter 15

**15.**

I was nursing a beer when I heard the bar stool next to me scrape the floor.

"I see you started without me."

Alec sat down next to me. I clapped his hand and gave him a one-arm hug. He hadn't changed at all; he was still the stocky guy with the open smile that was captain of the swimming team throughout high school and college. Many thought he would go all the way to the Olympics, but instead, he ended up joining the FBI after graduating.

"Good to see you, Alec. How've you been?"

"Good. I'm getting married next year. Her name is Heidi. She has a kid, a sweet child named Jane." He told me all about how he met Heidi, and how just a week ago, he had proposed during a baseball game. "So, tell me what's on your mind, Masen," he asked me, taking one of the cold bottles of beer the bartender handed us after ordering another round.

She also no so subtly tried to give me her number on a paper hidden under the coaster.

I rolled my eyes and made sure she saw me balling up the little piece of paper and then tossed it over my shoulder.

Alec chuckled. "Man, I think I already have an idea. What's her name?"

That was all he needed to ask to let the floodgates open. I told him all about you, at least the little I knew, and then went on to drop the big bomb on him.

"You're telling me you're in love with your uncle's new bride?"

I nodded, finishing the fourth beer and then ordering a glass of water, not wanting to get completely wasted.

Alec sat there, lips pursed in concentration. My confession had clearly left him speechless, but there was something else; something was bothering him.

"What are you thinking so hard about over there?" I finally asked when I couldn't take the silence anymore.

He cracked his knuckles and took a sip of his beer. "Has Jasper done the background check on her, yet?"

I shook my head. "No, he has been too busy with this new magazine spread he's been working on. He's been out of the country for a couple of months, actually."

He nodded. "Let me do it for you, Edward. There's something that's not sitting well with me."

I turned on my stool to face him. "What do you mean?"

He looked at me and shook his head. "It's probably nothing, but better safe than sorry, right?"

I considered his offer for a minute, but something stopped me from agreeing.

"Look, I understand if you don't want to invade her privacy like that, man."

Alec was right. I didn't feel right digging into your life like that, but he'd always had good instincts…

"I think I want to give _her_ the chance to tell me, you know?" I finally said after mulling over his offer for another couple of minutes.

He nodded once, patting my back. "I get it. You do what you need to do, but remember that I'm just a phone call away."

* * *

You are getting this chapter early because I just finished two more chapters, one of them is already with my beta.

I'll try to update more often, but I can't promise more than one chapter every other day. Remember English is not my first language and it takes me a long time to write up to 500 words. I have three different dictionaries on the desk and I'm constantly harassing my poor sister, God bless her patient nature.

Thanks to my beta **MariahajilE**. I truly appreciate your help.

You can find me on twitter: **Riv3rBoy84. **I post tiny teasers over there.

Thank you for reading.

-JR


	17. Chapter 16

**16.**

The sun was shining brightly, and the gentle breeze felt good against my heated skin. My feet pounded against the asphalt as Pearl Jam blared from the white tiny headphones in my ears.

It had been a week since my talk with Alec. He had called on Wednesday to ask me if I had changed my mind, but I hadn't been able to talk to you all week. My uncle had made sure to take you out every night to introduce you to all his friends and colleagues. It was almost like he was showing you off, but I knew my uncle wasn't that kind of man. He was just trying to make you feel welcomed.

I shook my head, trying to get rid of the thoughts of you and my uncle, and made a left when I saw the manor's driveway entrance.

I had just finished my stretches and was making my way up the driveway when I noticed her.

She stood by the entrance, talking to Esme. Her white dress that reached her mid thighs, exposing her long legs. She was wearing golden sandals, and I could see a small tattoo on her left ankle. Her long wavy hair bounced as she suddenly threw her head back in laughter, and I was mesmerized by the sound. I hadn't seen her face yet, but I was already captivated by her.

_Who was this young woman?_

"Edward!" Esme yelled, waving me over. She looked very happy, something that she hadn't been in the weeks I'd been here.

The young woman turned around, and I stopped dead in tracks when I saw her dark eyes.

A beautiful smile spread across her face, and then she was running towards me. When she was close enough, she jumped on me, wrapping her arms around my neck.

"Teddy!"

My shock lasted less than a few seconds. My mind was quick to recognize the young woman that was now embracing me. She looked so different. Long gone were the glasses and too big hoodies she often wore. It had been less than a year since I had last seen her, but by the way she had changed, it could have been a decade.

"I've missed you so much," she confessed in a shy whisper.

I couldn't help but chuckle, wrapping my arms around her waist and retuning her embrace, her delicate flower perfume surrounding me.

"I've missed you too, Birdy."

* * *

Thanks to my beta **MariahajilE**. I truly appreciate your help.

You can find me on twitter: **Riv3rBoy84  
**I post tiny teasers over there.

Thank you for reading.

-JR


	18. Chapter 17

**17.**

The soft notes of Liszt's Dreams of Love floated around the solarium, her deft fingers playing the notes with such passion and precision, yet with a happiness that only those with love for the piece could transmit to the audience. This particular piece had always been a favorite of hers, one of the first pieces she had perfected at the young age of fifteen.

I sat next to her on the piano bench, the place of honor, the place that has always been mine since I came to live here after my parents' death. Here, we had played all kinds of songs - silly songs about spiders to more complicated pieces about love and tragedy - until her talent had surpassed mine.

Carlisle stood by the piano with a proud smile while Esme beamed next to him in happiness, watching my little bird wow with her talent.

You stood by the entrance, your presence standing out like a sore thumb. Your sharp eyes took everything in, but the coldness you were projecting made you the outcast in this particular happy moment.

Birdy was here, and her arrival after spending two months touring Europe had lifted everyone's spirits. She played with her eyes closed, her body swaying with the music. She didn't need to read the music sheets in front of her; she was playing from memory and by heart.

She was marvelous.

I hadn't been able to keep my eyes off of her all night, and you'd noticed.

When the piece ended, we all clapped and expressed our admiration.

She blushed profusely, still not used to the compliments.

"Play with me, Teddy!"

I heard a snort, and we all turned to look where the sound came from.

"Sorry, I'm not used to this… camaraderie," you said with a teasing smile, but there was something ugly swirling in your eyes, something you had no right to feel.

My uncle chuckled and walked toward you, kissing your temple, not noticing the look on your face. "You'll get used to it, my darling. These two," he said, pointing at where my cousin and I sat behind the piano, "are inseparable, especially when there is music involved. They can spend hours and even days on the same debate!"

"The Rolling Stones are better," I mumbled, getting a swift elbow to my ribs.

"No, The Beatles are! Honestly, Teddy. I thought you would've learned by now!"

Carlisle laughed. "See, what did I tell you?"

Your smile was strained. "I can see that."

I refused to make eye contact with you, and instead, I focused on the captivating girl at my side. You said something else, but I was too immersed in my debate with my little bird to pay attention.

Looking back now, I should've paid attention.

* * *

_My apologies for forgetting to update yesterday, but in my defense it was my weekend with my boys and since it was a holiday weekend I took them to the water park. We literally collapse once we were home. I can't say it won't happen again, but I'll try to no make the same mistakes. I'm still learning after all._

Thanks to my beta **MariahajilE**. I truly appreciate your help.

You can find me on twitter: **Riv3rBoy84  
**I post tiny teasers over there.

Thank you for reading.

-JR


	19. Chapter 18

**18.**

The manor was empty that night. Everyone had gone somewhere either with friends or significant others. I was left alone after a grueling day at work, too tired to accept the invitation from my co-workers to grab a few drinks at a popular bar. Instead, I found myself lounging on my bed in a pair of sweats and old NYU t-shirt with the latest book by one of my favorite authors, but I couldn't focus on the plot of the mystery behind the elusive main character, my mind too full with thoughts about a person I shouldn't be thinking about.

I sighed and tossed the book aside, leaning back against the headboard. I felt restless, and my emotions where giving me whiplash. I was debating if it was too late to catch up with my co-workers, thinking perhaps going out would do the trick, but the knock on my door and her shy voice stopped me from making that call.

_"Teddy, are you awake?" _I heard my cousin ask, her voice off and quivering.

I opened the door to find her in tears.

"What's wrong, Birdy?"

"Felix broke up with me!" she cried, hugging hugged me.

I cradled the back of her head, letting her cry against my chest. I wrapped my other arm around her shoulders when she swayed a bit, her sobs breaking my heart.

I'd heard of this Felix guy before. It was all she had talked about since she had arrived a week ago. They sounded so in love when I caught them on a Skype session the other day. They had met on tour; he played the first violin in the symphony and had bonded over their love of music. He seemed like a good guy, and even Jay had told me he treated her right when he emailed me the other day. He had apparently met them during the tour. He had been doing a shoot in Prague and was able to attend one of her shows there.

Jay was coming back next week and was looking forward to seeing us all, which reminded me to ask him about the background check he did on you. He said it all came out clear. You were who you said you were and nothing else, but something wasn't sitting right with me. The way he'd dismissed my concerns in his email left me with an unsettling feeling. Something wasn't adding up, and I was considering Alec's offer more and more.

Or maybe I was just reading too much into things?

My Birdy's sniffles brought me back to the present. I would take care of her first and then think on what I was gonna do about you.

"What happened?" I asked, pulling her inside my bedroom and helping her sit next to me on the bed.

We spent the entire night talking. She told me how she had met Felix and how fast they had became very good friends. She shyly confessed that Felix had only been the second guy she had been intimate with. I clenched my fists. A sudden feeling of anger and something I couldn't point out in that moment overwhelmed me, making me wish I could track down her first and this Felix guy to beat them up to a pulp. But I shook off the feeling quickly, and instead, I focused on my little bird, consoling her like I had done a couple of different times when her little heart had been broken before. She said he had been pulling back more and more since they had returned to the states, and the fact he lived in LA was already putting a strain on them. She had been out with some old high school friends when he called to tell her that he couldn't do the long distance thing anymore.

Rage coursed through my veins. I hated how he had handled everything but, even more, how hurt and broken she looked. I let her cry and tried to soothe her, and before I realized, we had both fallen asleep, her head on my chest and my arm around her shoulders.

It was the best night's sleep I'd had since I came back to Chicago.

* * *

The next chapter is with my beta, I'll update the next one as soon as I can. A wave to all of you who are following this story. I hope you are enjoying it.

Thanks to my beta **MariahajilE**. I truly appreciate your help.

You can find me on twitter: **Riv3rBoy84 **I post tiny teasers over there.

Thank you for reading.

-JR


	20. Chapter 19

**19.**

I woke up with the sunrise, and the first thing I noticed was the warm body next to me. I rolled over and saw my little bird sleeping next to me, her eyes a bit red and swollen. That was when I remembered what happened the night before. I caressed her face, my heart aching at the clear sadness I could see marring her beautiful features, and gently pushed a lock behind her ear.

"Your staring is creeping me out."

I chuckled. "Sorry, that was not my intention."

She smiled a little; her eyes were still closed as she snuggled into the pillow. "I must look horrid."

"Nonsense," I scoffed. "You look rather pretty, actually."

She snorted and turned her head to face me. She opened her eyes, blinking a few times before settling her sight on me. "You must be a real ladies' man. So charming…" she teased, pinching my cheek.

I stuck my tongue out when she let go, and an idea popped in my head. "Do you have something important to do today?"

She shook her head, pursing her lips in thought. "Nothing I can't move around. Why?"

"I think a day out is in order. Let's go have some fun. What do you say?"

Her smiled was both relieved and thankful. "I like the sound of that."

I jumped out of bed, excited about the day, and helped her up. I escorted her to the door and unlocked it.

"And a gentleman to boot," she murmured. "You must have a mile-long line of girls dying to be at your mercy."

I chuckled. "No lines. No girl."

"No one?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

The look in her eyes made my chest tight, it was like she knew something, but she couldn't know. No one knew but Esme, and it made me wonder if perhaps I'd been a bit to careless to talk about my feelings so in the open like I had the other night.

I cleared my throat and shook my head. "Not anymore," I said, and it was the truth.

She smiled and nodded once, then turned around. "Meet you in the kitchen in thirty?" she asked over her shoulder as she walked down the hallway.

I nodded. "It's a date."

She winked and giggled.

I sighed and went back to my room, thinking that this day out was going to be good, not only for Birdy but for me as well.

Like Esme had advised, I just needed to get out of the house and enjoy the life I had, because no matter how much I wanted, you were never going to be mine.

I _needed_ to move on.

* * *

_I've been trying to upload this for an hour, and I officially had my first fanfiction dot net issue. In other words, like my dear sister said, fanfiction dot net just popped my cherry. HA-fucking-HA.  
_

Thanks to my beta **MariahajilE**. I truly appreciate your help.

Special thanks to the reviewers! I never thought more than a handful of people would read this, so thank you.

You can find me on twitter: **Riv3rBoy84. **I post tiny teasers over there.

Thank you for reading.

-JR


	21. Chapter 20

**20.**

Our day turned out to be far more than I had anticipated.

We were like a couple of teenagers skipping school. I almost wished there was a parade we could hijack and have an entire crowd perform a very impromptu yet highly choreographed musical number. But our lives weren't a movie, and Bueller was far cooler than both of us.

Nonetheless, we had a great day. I took my little bird to Lake Michigan. We didn't have a Ferrari, but we did have my uncle's precious yacht. We ate the picnic Esme had prepared for us there. We both jumped from the deck and swam in the cold water, but the sun was warm enough to not make it too cold.

We returned to port in time for dinner. I took her to one of my favorite bars, one that I used to visit quite often during the summers when I was in college. They made the best double cheeseburgers and the crispiest onion rings I'd ever had, but I didn't like how every single man in the room seemed to leer at my little bird. I would have been mad had it not been because she never paid them any attention.

I had no idea where this feeling was coming from. I felt so… protective? Angry? But at whom? Her? No, I could never be mad at her. Never her. She was like the sun, chasing away all the darkness. Her laughter brought me out of my thoughts, and soon, it was all forgotten. Her eyes were the only ones that mattered.

She never looked at anyone else but me.

We returned to the manor at almost midnight. She scrambled up the stairs, giggling like a school girl, and I was about to follow her, not wanting this day to end, but I stopped in my tracks when heard my name being called.

"Edward, may I have a word with you?"

My uncle stood by the living room entrance. In his hand was a half full glass of scotch. I smiled at him and opened my mouth to ask him if we could talk in the morning, but his hard-set eyes wiped away the high I had been riding all day. A feeling of dread suddenly lodged in my throat.

"Did something happen?"

"No, nothing bad. Please," he said, motioning with his free for me to follow him. "It will only take a minute."

With trepidation weighting heavily on my chest, I followed him.

Imagine my surprise when I saw you sitting there with a smug look on your face.

* * *

Thanks to my beta **MariahajilE**. I truly appreciate your help.

Special thanks to all the reviewers. I never thought more than a handful of people would read this, so thank you.

You can find me on twitter: **Riv3rBoy84 **I post tiny teasers over there.

Thank you for reading.

-JR


End file.
